Becsamillion (eccentricartist) wrote,

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Tired days

So I just haven't had the energy lately to update this old thing, even though I'm online all the time. It's most likely BECAUSE I'm online all the time. I've developed internet ADD (partly exacerbated by my addiction to blogs) and so I haven't had the patience lately to sit down and write too much. Actually, I'm feeling kinda cringey just writing this. I don't know what's going on with that, but I think I'll try to work through it.

So being aware of Mozart's cancer has been really draining. He's already slowed down a bit, probably as a result of having a couple of his teeth pulled and the surgery to get some of the tumor out of his jaw. He's still eating well (yeesh, I'm gonna freak the heck out when he gets finicky about that) and he still barks sometimes, but it's nowhere near as much and he doesn't run around the yard the way he used to. I've kinda been trying to avoid thinking about it, mainly because the majority of my friends have no idea why this is such a big deal. Most of them either haven't lost pets or only lost ones that they hadn't had time to develop such a strong attachment to. The only one anywhere close is Sprinks, who lost her bunny, but Variety died after four years. That's less than half the time I've had with Motzie, and I have a tendency to turn to him when I'm crying after a fight with Mom, since he's fluffy and good to cry on. Josie tends to wiggle when I try to hold her, but Motzie would just rest his head on my chest and let me sob. Actually I'm getting really teary just thinking about all this, but I know I'll feel better once I've written it down.

Part of the difficulty of this process is that I'm really burned out at my job - the tedium and petty politics have gotten to me after a year (A year! I'm still young enough to be shocked when I realize I've devoted an entire year to this job!) and I can't wait to tell my boss that I'm leaving. THAT will be a very satisfying day. I'm not planning on burning any bridges, but my resignation will be a sweet, sweet moment. Plus a lot of my coworkers are being inconsiderate asses, and I won't be too broken up to see the last of them. I know I'll keep in touch with some, but most are out. The. Window.

Speaking of work, I should really get back to it, although I'm terribly tempted to do some kind of writeup like sienamystic, although I'm thinking about some of the art I covered in my Japanese culture class. We'll see. I'm not an art history person the way she is.
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